Living in Chile on sabbatical for 4 months has brought us insight on what is needed in a culture or community to ensure Belonging is at the forefront.

There is nothing better than going to live in a country that you have never visited, to better understand what it takes to feel that you and your family belong.

Here are a few small actionable items or lessons learned that relate to camp that turned our time from a trip to a home away from home:

1.      Greet someone every time you see them. 

This is a true Chileano (or really Latin American) hallmark.  So much of how our family began to feel at home was that each time someone saw us in town or outside the school they would say hello and greet us with curiosity “hey aren’t you that family from the US…” or the next time they saw they would always use our name.  They then would follow up with a question, “how is it going, have you been to….”   When someone acknowledges you, you feel seen and not just a bystander.  This just feels good.  At camp, it is essential to learn names and it’s a great place to practice greeting, a skill that creates a sense of belonging for all. 

2.      Acknowledge when something may be different than home. 

When we were first greeted by the head of the school, where the boys attended in Chile, she did the traditional Chileano kiss on the cheek.  She said we are a very close culture here and greet with kisses and handshakes/hugs for the men.  I know this is different than in the US.  This small gesture made us feel like she not only knew us, but in addition, she recognized our interactions in Chile might feel different. 

3.     Invitations. 

Chris Vogl, an expert and writer on the theme of belonging says “Invitations resolve the crisis of belonging.”  This is so true.  Each time we were invited by a parent or person we met (often only briefly) it made us feel wanted.  Franco and Cata thank you for inviting us here.  Flo thank you for inviting us to Padel.  Jovino thank you for inviting us to your farm and time with your family.  Paula and Brian thank you for inviting us so many mornings for coffee. Bettina, Thomas and Cote thank you for inviting us to meals and more.  Terri thanks for inviting our boys to present poems.  Each of those moments made us feel one step closer to not just visiting Chile but being and living.  At camp and in life we should always look to invite someone to something, invitation has power and heart.  At Belknap we ask boys to come to the waterfront with a buddy. That small invitation for a swim goes a long way in making everyone feel they belong. 

4.     Pair em up. 

Our son’s had classroom buddies from the beginning.  The school consciously chose kids to be their person(s).  They choose kids that spoke some English and or had a similar interest.  Ema, Pedro and Josefina- you made our boys feel included!  At camp we have the big brother little brother and the cousins program.  The younger campers are paired with older campers.  Not only do these campers have a person but they have someone or something to look up to or take pride in.  When the big brother wins an award, it is not unheard of to hear the little bro say “that’s my big bro!”

5.     Connecting the family through story telling. 

The school found the things that our boys excelled at or took a risk and tried something out of their comfort zone, they would share it with us.  Noah’s Spanish teacher sent us a video of him presenting in Spanish.  We received a photo of Tobin leading the set-up of the tents on the field trip.  But tech aside even those moments when we were at school the teacher would go out of their way to share a fun story about Tobin or Noah.  Each story made us feel like the teachers  knew our boys and therefore that they belonged and we belonged.  The kid at camp that is new and writes an article in the paper… this can be saved and given on check out day to the parent.  This connects the parents and overall strengthens that relationship.

6.     Give the schedule and do it in several forms. 

Knowing what is coming helps someone feel grounded.  At first the boys only had information about when school started and stopped and were told in words not paper what was happening next.  Now you can imagine in another language how hard this was.  Tobin reported not knowing when something was coming and putting on his rubber boots for what he thought was outdoor classroom to end up indoors.  Explanation in words did not always work for our boys. Paper schedules are essential.

7.     Connect ahead. 

The boys stepped onto the school campus and met a few important people prior to starting school.  Tobin was able let out some tears after visiting that day that allowed him to process some feelings and be ready to enter the next day.  New camper Orientation is essential to allowing someone to touch camp and process the experience before attending.    

Clearly this is not all it takes to feel connected in a community.  At Belknap there are many other small examples that help each of us feel we belong and to connect to the community.  From cabin nights hearing multiple voices at vespers, a funny skit in the dining hall and more.   

We are thankful for the opportunity to have new experiences and to be a place where people have helped us feel like we belong.