We have been thinking alot about the similarities and differences of kids and raising kids in the US to Chile.

In Chile, the majority of kids walk independently or ride the public bus to and from school.  Children (and adults) are culturally expected to independently acknowledge each person with a kiss on the cheek or a joyful handshake to every person in the room.  This occurs even if there are 20 people in the room. And when plans change it just happens and kids are expected to roll with and talk about the change of plans like it was the highlight of the day.  It’s OK to be late for a social event, or have some activity start at a different time, so kids have this great knack for entertaining themselves and adults get more time to gab with each other.

In contrast, in the United States children can walk into a room without needing to say hello or acknowledge those who are present (culturally this has not been required). And many kids days are highly programmed. And interestedly when kids don’t get into something or something different happens parents call, when something did not go as planned parents call, if something is not on time or executed to perfection people complain…

Over the decade of our directorship we have received a good handful of calls by parents of Belknappers with concerns over why their child did not get into an activity: “My child says they never got into archery or sailing at camp this summer.”  These comments are usually followed up with how Belknap did not meet the parent’s expectation around getting to do programs.  Yet, the reality is, not getting into an activity, having the plan change, is exactly the program Belknap wants to and does provide.  Yes, eventually everyone gets to go to the activity, but we can’t take everyone at once.  Life as an adult is not perfect, the more we allow appropriate opportunities for our children to experience imperfections in childhood, the better equipped they will be as adults.  In Chile, these experiences of changed plans happen frequently to most children. Camp’s true value is about gaining confidence, understanding ourselves, connecting, growing and learning.   And an important lesson in independence is how to gracefully handle a situation when we don’t get something we really want.